


And I Am Failing

by dustflwr



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Diary/Journal, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-26
Updated: 2011-09-26
Packaged: 2017-10-24 01:32:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/257389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dustflwr/pseuds/dustflwr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I feel so pathetic, I can't even write your names, let alone say them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And I Am Failing

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

You were just waiting for some others to come along weren't you? I know you were now, that's why you wanted me to stay out of your head, right? So I couldn't tell too early and kick you out of the only home that you could be yourself in? So you could be around someone like you? I loved your blue form, I just didn't want us to get caught. You know what the government would do to us if they got the chance right? All I wanted to do was save you from that fate, but you just assumed like always, thought I was like all of the others, repulsed by your natural form, but you know what they say about assuming.

On top of it all you left when I was lying on the sandy ground of an island after he pulled a bullet out of my back, with no way for me to get to a hospital. Yes, you walked up to me and pretended to need my permission to leave, but you and I both know that was for show, and really, I don't think you would have minded if I died that day, not really anyway. Sure you would have made a show to keep up appearances, but it would all be an act. We both know it, it's everyone else who has this image of us being the almost perfect siblings. _HA!_ How they could have ever gotten that idea I'll never know, especially now, when you left us, left me.

I've known for a while that it was all an act, why do you think I got so irritated when you showed that girl your eye? Sure I knew it was all an act with you, but did you know I wasn't acting? The only acting I ever did with you was acting like it was all ok when I knew you were going to leave me as soon as you found others. I knew how deceitful you were being, but I didn't want it to be true, I wanted to have someone that cared about me, actually cared about me, and you know why. You lived with me, and you know how my family was towards me, but I guess it wasn't enough.

I'm never enough for anybody am I? I wasn't enough for my mother, Kurt, or Cain. I'll never know if I was enough for my father, though I doubt I was. I wasn't enough for you or him either, was I? (I feel so pathetic, I can't even write your names, let alone say them.) Sure, Alex, Sean, and Hank are still here, but it's only a matter of time. I'm sure they're only here because they felt obligated, they'll leave soon enough, and I'll be just as alone as I was before I met you at the age of twelve.

No, I'll never be enough for anyone, but I can still try.


End file.
